When having control isn't an option

I believe that we learn the most important lessons in life in the hardest ways. I’m not sure on the reasons why, but I know it’s true because of my experience. Trusting people and God has always been a difficult thing for me. I know what we are capable of as humans and I also have had a lot of unnecessary heartache (who hasn’t), which puts me in an interesting spot in life. Recently I saw this quote “There are times in your life that you have to choose between hardening your heart or keeping it soft. Keeping it soft is always the harder choice.” Needing to keep my heart open in situations is always painful for me and I think that is because of my lack of trust. Most of the time I have difficulty thinking that anyone has his or her best interest in mind for me. Who would better know that me? That’s what I think. This comes into play with my relationship with God daily. I try having control over each and more specifically certain situations where I know I could or will end up getting hurt. Isn’t this just like saying “I believe in some parts of the bible but not everything it has to say?” This has been on my mind a lot in the past couple weeks. When I don’t trust God in situations to take control, I’m just proclaiming that I will follow God the days it’s comfortable or when it’s convenient to me and when I don’t have to make an important decision. Instead of every day and every moment no matter the situation. Learning to give everything up is easier when I remember that God already knows the outcome of the event, what is best for me and what He is trying to teach me. Why should I worry when it’s already taken care of? Why should I worry when His plans are always better than mine? These questions just remind me how much I need to refocus the way I think and live. Instead of worrying, why am I not using my energy to thank God for already having my best interest in mind and KNOWING that He will follow through with His promises? After all, He always does.